More Thoughts on Being Alone

I'm learning how to be alone, and to be okay with it. I'm now learning that being alone doesn't equate with being lonely, especially if you believe in a loving Creator, a God who wants to relate and commune with your life, one who wants to be near all the time. That's something that I have always had trouble, and still do. How do live in such a way as to be near to God? How to I talk to Him? How am I to understand Him? To relate to Him? God often seems to be a great concept in my mind, rather than a tangible relationship. But, maybe, just maybe, with this intentional time of separation from relationships, I'll how to put my relationship with God first. Make that what I live for, rather than trying to please people, to live up to expectations. Maybe I can really face myself with only God to turn to for approval. Poco a poco.

Falling Into Stride

I've made it to Kinsley, KS, well on my way to Colorado, and I'm really loving this trip. Before the trip began, I was pretty freaked out, nervous about how it was going to happen, details and all, and scared about being by myself, more or less alone for several months. And for the first week, it was a tough adjustment, getting my legs in shape, getting used to not knowing where I was going to stay that night, hoping to not get robbed, all of it. But now, the freedom of this whole trip is quite amazing. I've never been at a place in life where it didn't matter where I went or what I did to this extent. I'm not bound by deadlines, by an itinerary, by expectations that I have to meet. I am certainly bound by a budget, but that in some ways adds to the excitement, in that it forces me to be dependent. Dependent on God for everything, for food, lodging, company, protection, energy, health, but also dependent on others from time to time, for necessities.

Errands and Encounters

After Buhler, I went into Hutchinson, KS, to do some errands. I got some warmer clothes, since winter and the Rockies are coming, after all, among other things. It's amazing how long it takes to do the simplest things, like run to the grocery store and post office, when you're on a bike. But, it's a good patience builder, I suppose.
The managers of the Kansas State Fairgrounds were kind enough to let me camp on the grounds there, with running water and everything, for free! Another blessing, for sure. Sleep under a beautiful starry sky that night.
The next day, after spending some time in the library of Hutch, I biked on to the small town of Stafford, KS, all of 1,500 people, where I met a man named Jerry Hogg. Man, we talked faith for the longest time. He is an ardent member of the Church of God, and so we talked A LOT about our beliefs. Great chance to discuss our difference in belief, and why we believe what we do. I camped in his yard that night, and after breakfast, pedaled on to Kinsley, KS.

Slow and Steady, Pressing on

After El Dorado, I rode to Buhler, KS, going through a number of small towns in Kansas. I had to make a slow, steady pace, due to an annoying wind coming across the croplands, and my knees feeling pretty precarious. Just to clue you in, since going through the hills in Arkansas my knees had been giving me some weird pains. The front of my left knee and one of the rear tendons in my right knee just slowly started to hurt, and came and went in terms of pain. The frustrating thing was, that if I adjusted my pedal-stroke to help one knee, it would make the other knee worse. So, going to Buhler, I just tried to not push my knees too hard, taking a slow pace to get there, rather than shorter, faster spurts.  It kinda worked. Kinda.
I had a chance in the afternoon to do some reading, Is That Really You God? by Loren Cunningham. It was kind of frustrating reading about this man of God who has such an incredible gifting of hearing God and being led by the Spirit. I guess I'm just at a point where I wish so desperately to be able to hear God's voice, and feel His presence, in my life. I mean, I guess it's a learned discipline, but sometimes I so strongly desire clarity in my spirit, and it doesn't come. Keep pressing in, I suppose.
I was able to spend the night with Mike and Beth Prieb, and their three sons that night, and actually helped them with their math homework. Awesome! Big thanks to them and their hospitality! Great family!

Learning to trust

On the night of the 25th, I rode into El Dorado, KS, after a long day of riding. One of the most stunning experiences: riding through the countryside, coming to the top of a crest, the setting sun ahead of you, and you are riding along a front of thunderclouds. A light breeze, a little rain, and the earth just open around you. All the while battling to make headway. That moment is implanted in my brain.

So, I pulled into town, after dark, again, feeling very cold, and in a lot of ways alone, really hoping to find some kind of companionship. I asked around for places to camp, prayed to run into someone who might let me camp in their yard, but I was just directed to a local park. Kinda depressing, especially on a cold, windy night. But, at the same time, looking back, I think it was  test of dependency. Do I really trust that the Lord will provide? Do I really trust that He'll give me what I need, He'll protect me, He'll provide? To I let His love, His grace, His approval be enough for me? Or do I still yearn to find fulfillment in other things, such as the acceptance of others?

The next day, I attended First Presbyterian of El Dorado, and God took care of me, in extravagent ways, even though I still struggle to trust Him. I met Mal and Janice Shaffer, and they were the biggest blessing to me. They took me to lunch with their friends, let me stay in their house, and bought groceries for me. It was amazing to be so warmly welcomed by people who I have never met before, and me, one who doesn't deserve that kind of grace. Again, God provides, even when I have so little faith.

Help in odd places

I crossed into Kansas on the 23rd of September, fighting a ridiculous cross wind. Warm welcome, Kansas. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't expect any less. I made it to Pittsburg, and took a break at the local bike shop. I pressed on to Parsons that night, pulling in way after dark, maybe like 9:30. It was a long day. But, mid-afternoon, I had found out that a line of thunderstorms were rolling my way, to hit around midnight. No big deal for riding, except that I don't want to be caught camping in a tornado. Minor detail. So, after night fell, and I was riding on the shoulder of this highway, with trucking flying by at 70 mph, I decided to try and find some sort of shelter. So, I start knocking on doors. Genious idea. Rural Kansas, after dark, time when farmers are going to bed, and I come beating on their door asking to camp out in their garage. The looks they had on their faces just screamed, "Get the heck off of my property!" And understandably so. So I gave that up real quick. 
I kept on to Parsons, and found the police station. When I told them that I just didn't want to get caught in the storms, I got another suspicious look. He told me about a campground with uncovered sites that cost money (aka over my budget). But, a man sitting in the station, a local, took me aside and told me about the park downtown with covered pavilions. Smiling, he told me that I could make myself pretty well hidden in there, and that I wouldn't get any trouble from the police. And I could always say I got lost if they found me in the middle of the night. Anyway, I thought it interesting the different responses you get from people: some don't want much to do with you, some will walk another mile with you. And you can't tell by first impressions, either.

Crossing paths

So, I left Springfield, and it took me the first half of the day to get out of the city, after running over a nail somewhere and having to change the flat. But, after I got out of the city, I made pretty good time, and made it to my destination just after sundown. Missouri has some lovely hills, that's for sure, and some pretty farm land. And I am liking hills, because they're not too windy, and you get the best views from them. Anyway, I made it to Golden City, MO, and camped out with another traveling cyclist named Mark Rowdon. This guy was ridiculously cool. He had been traveling from Lake Tahoe, going through the desert, the mountains, the plains, heading to Virginia. What was cooler, he was interested in becoming an evangelist when he finished the trek. Freaking sweet! Really cool guy, sold out devoted to Christ, and a lot faster of a biker than me. And he had a sweet beard. Facial hair always increases cool points. Ride on, Mark! You've definately motivated me to keep on trucking.