Along the mountains, into the desert

I set out from Denver, going back the way I had gone several days before, which I just want to describe for you. I took a small country road which paralleled the interstate, more or less, running along the front range. The route was definitely tough, climbing from 5200 ft to 7200 feet over the course of 60 miles, but it was so beautiful. Coming out of Denver, it runs through some ranch land, rolling hills covered in dry grass, about 10 miles east of the mountains. It slows snakes its way closer to the mountains until, by the time you hit Palmer Lake at 7200 ft, just north of Colorado Springs, you are riding your way on a road that curves its way around the base of the mountains. By that point, you're gasping for air, trying to figure out how people actually live up that high. But the beauty of the desert landscape leading up to the wall of the Rockies it phenomenal. I stayed that night with Randy and Amy Newton again, who came and picked me up when, apparently, snow clouds where coming in. Thanks a bunch, you guys!

The next day, I headed toward Pueblo, and actually ended up getting snowed on. It was the weirdest thing, I suppose because it never happens in Arkansas. It was partly cloudy, but overall very sunny, when all of a sudden I see little white dots start coming down from the sky. And the sun was shining. What??? Apparently, it's not that uncommon to get flurries on sunny days, but it was pretty novel for a guy like me. So, I'll claim it – I've biked through snow on this trip.

The rest of the day was an easy ride down to Pueblo, where I stayed with Tom and Sharla Hochstetler, and their rambunctious dogs. Cool people! I had a chance to chat with Sharla about her job as a middle school teacher in Pueblo county. I was so surprised to hear about the tough community that she works in, deal with a bunch of kids from broken families. I was completely blown away by the rough crowd of kids that she works with in an area that is very rural. Previously, when I thought drugs, broken homes, and tough communities, I used to think urban areas. You know, inner-city LA. But apparently, you can find problems all over, even in the desert of Colorado. Even in Puelbo, there are so many kids needing love and guidance, and parents who care, especially in these days where rough times, especially financially, have hit everywhere, which can totally pull families apart. I have so much respect for people like Sharla who seek out the need, and have such a passion to work at a job where you might not see the payoff. Rock on, Sharla!

A small breakthrough?

On Saturday, after being back in Denver for a couple days, my frustration was mounting, as I wasn't feeling like I was making any progress in the area of “hearing” God's voice, nor was I any closer to knowing the point in my being back in Denver. I felt like I was meeting my “quota” of quiet time, praying, and reading, but that even so, God was coming through, like I sometimes feel that He should. But no, and I was confused. So, I went out for a ride, to clear my mind, and to stay in shape. But, about a half mile down the road, I noticed my wheel was out of alignment. And apparently, I had broken two spokes at some point. Sweet! So, I tried to replace the spokes, but quickly realized that I didn't know what I was doing. I carried my bike back to the house, and, after some research, I realized that I didn't have the tools to fix it. I tried to anyway, only to end up irritated at my bike, as well as God.

So, out of options with the bike shops closed, I went for a walk to clear my head. I found a bench on the side of a street several blocks away, and I started to read and pray. And apparently, I was sittingout right outside of a church. Cool, whatever, didn't really mean much at the time. But then this guy comes out and starts talking to me. We talk for a while, and I go in to meet his dad, John Gallegos, the pastor of the church, who proceeds to tell me all about Globe ville and how God is using their ministry there. And all the while, I'm thinking, “What the heck? Is this you, God?” I start to get excited about the inner-city work the church is doing there. They are awesome people, by the way, wholly devoted to serving God, with great passion and vision. They even gave me some food out of their food panty! It was weird, and I'm still not sure about what God was doing, but it seemed too weird to be a coincidence. Very much a God thing, with how everything panned out that night.

Over the course of the next day, while I made preparations to head south on Monday, and being around some solid, encouraging communities of believers, I felt a freedom, a peace take over me. I started actually believing that it was okay to make the wrong choice. God has my back, and if I screw up, it's all right, as long as I keep my sights on him. It was a small breakthrough, a feeling that I hadn't had for a while. So, I made my bike ready to leave, looking to what the next weeks would bring.

Back in Denver

So, I rode back to Denver, more than slightly confused and unsure whether I was even doing the right thing. Leaving the Springs, the first thirty miles proved brutal, for whatever reason. They were definitely uphill, and hilly, but it shouldn't have been as difficult. Maybe it was the air, or lack thereof. Maybe it was something else.... But at any rate, it was a fight to get up to 7300 ft, and I mean it was a tooth-and-nail kinda thing, and honestly, there was at least a little frustration aimed at God. I mean, if I was trying to be obedient, shouldn't He be giving me a massive tailwind or something? Right?
It was downhill and easy the rest of the way, thankfully, and I arrived at my friend Ryan Likes's house around sundown.  I stayed the next several days in Denver more or less trying to figure what the heck I was there for. I felt mostly confident that I was doing the right thing in going back to Denver, but didn't have much idea as to why I was supposed to be there. Was there someone I was supposed to meet? Was there an opportunity that I was to find, an open door to, say, a job? Was there something I was to hear, to do, to learn while there? Or was it just a test in obedience? I didn't know, and even now am not sure.

I spent much of the time doing a lot of reading of the book Is That Really You, God? by Loren Cunningham, which deals a lot with discerning the will of God, and learning how to hear. It was really encouraging to read, and hear a Godly man's real testimony about being led by the Spirit, but at the same time it was deeply frustrating, because I felt like I was nowhere near that point and I ached to be there.

But, I had a great conversation with Ryan Likes as we threw a frisbee around, and we came to the conclusion that the point of this whole spiritual journey thing isn't to have it all together. The point isn't to have THE answer to life. The point is Christ. The point is to know Him, and struggling is a part of that. God isn't near as concerned or worried about what I'm going to be doing in three months as I am. He's just wants me, as He wants all of us. In other words, I need to stop worrying about whether I make the right decision or the wrong one, because that's not the point. The point is Him. At least that's where I stand at this given point in time.

Confusion, voices, riding around in circles

At this point, in order to try and explain the next few days, I need to go back to the beginning. If you remember, the point of this whole ordeal, the trip as a whole, was to seek guidance and clarity. And I have been looking for guidance on two levels: the immediate level of occupational/geographical plans for the near future (this coming January), and also, on a deeper level, to draw closer to the heart of God. Both of these, in my mind, go hand in hand, and both really pertain to the discipline and skill of listening to God. A relationship requires communication, speaking and listening. And to be honest, in my relationship with my Creator, I have never been good at hearing/listening. Thus, in my whole quest to not only gain understanding of God's immediate plans for my life but also an understanding of who He is, my ability to listen to Him has been focal. And has been found to be wanting. Very wanting. A.k.a. - I feel like I have very little idea what God is doing in my life, most of the time.
So, back to the present. I was riding away from Denver, going to Monument on Sunday, October 17. And, leaving the city, I asked God, "What was the significance of my stay in Denver? In the connections made and the various interactions? Why did you orchestrate all this?" And I felt the Lord say, "Turn around."
Now, I want to pause here, and not that I am, even now, not certain that it was the Lord speaking, and that I "correctly" received some direction. So, I battled for a while. "Wait, is that you God? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Why should I go back? I have arrangements made in Monument, and Peyton, and Colorado Springs, and farther. I mean, it would throw things off, like crazy, God." So, I battled, and didn't feel any concrete insight.
So I went on to Monument, and stayed at the house of guy named Rowland, who welcomed me in on short notice. (Thanks a bunch, man!) And I battled on Monday, sitting in the Monument library, frustrated and confused. I asked my father for advice, and I asked my friend Ryan Likes to pray about it. I went to Peyton, CO, to see another old friend - Daniel Bava, and his wife Jess and son Adrian. (Thanks, guys!) Still battling, I went to the Springs, and after talking to my dad, Likes, and reading/praying/trying to listen to God for a while, I was impressed with a simple question: "Do you trust me?" Was God testing my obedience? Unsure, I decided that God wanted me to go back. (Again, kind of a shot in the dark). So, after staying the night with Randy and Amy Newton (Again, big thanks!), I headed back. And for what reason, I had little idea.

Riding away....

Friday and Saturday were great days to reengage with old friends. I stayed with Ryan Likes, friend from JBU, and we had dinner with the Starr family - Desi and Rose and kids. What struck me about them and their home was the presence of life and vivacity among them. It was so overwhelming (in a great way) and full of love. So great to see the dynamic of their family!
I later had some great chats with Ryan, his housemates, and other friends, talking a lot about life experiences, deep conversations full of the richness and gravity of life, and all that is encompassed by real living. A very refreshing several days in Denver, and I biked away on Sunday, after biking for a ways with Chris (compadre at the Cheesecake factory), and I wondered what I was supposed to take away from that. "God, what was that, the whole experience in Denver, all about?" I don't think it was an accident, but I don't have an answer, either. Vamos a ver.....

Hobo in the City

So, I have spent some great time in Denver, meeting new people and renewing old friendships. Such a great time, without a doubt. I rolled in from Fort Collins (after a long day of wicked hills! I wish I'd taken some pictures of them. And I'm still not used to the lack of oxygen here either) and met a guy named Chris at a house party/ music gig for a band called Churchill. Great guy, and great group of people! They're all connected with Providence Church in Denver, and it was great to get connected with this group of people. At first, I felt really out of place, being a sweaty, smelly, unshaven guy who looked strikingly like I had been living out of a cardboard box for the past couple months, in the midst of a really classy group of people in this uptown area, but they welcomed me in without a thought. I ended up chatting with a couple, Jerome and Martha, for a couple hours about our life stories (needless to say mine was shorter). Later, I ended up staying with another couple - Joel and Lauren - who generously opened their home up to this cycling hobo. I'm sooooooo grateful to have met all these people who opened up their homes and their hearts to me without reservation. It's been the biggest blessing, and definitely a recurring blessing throughout this trip - God connecting me with open-hearted, generous people who have given of themselves in so many ways. So cool!
Just wanted to include this image - on Thursday night, Chris and I went to the Cheesecake Factory downtown as they were closing, and gorged ourselves on the leftover delectables from other tables in the restaurant while we talked about things - life and love and why. I must add that the whole act of scavenging at a restaurant is only a social crime if you aren't a hobo on a bike. Or extremely hungry. Or both. Hmm.

Halftime!

I'm in Fort Collins today, staying with Drew Thomason, another friend from JBU. having my bike worked on today. Fortunately, it's just routine stuff. All of the funny noises that I have heard from my bike,such as random squeaks, pops, and creaks, apparently are not serious. My bike is kind of like an old man with all of the random noises it has, creaky joints and all. But, he'll be alright. We'll get back home okay. Which, by the way, today is right about halfway. 1500 miles done, 1500 more to go, and exactly halfway in my 10 week schedule. We'll see what comes in the second half. I'm headed back to Denver tomorrow, and then heading south from there on Sunday. Again, it's nice to have a few days to sit around on seats that are more than three inches wide. Yeah for couches!