Back in Denver

So, I rode back to Denver, more than slightly confused and unsure whether I was even doing the right thing. Leaving the Springs, the first thirty miles proved brutal, for whatever reason. They were definitely uphill, and hilly, but it shouldn't have been as difficult. Maybe it was the air, or lack thereof. Maybe it was something else.... But at any rate, it was a fight to get up to 7300 ft, and I mean it was a tooth-and-nail kinda thing, and honestly, there was at least a little frustration aimed at God. I mean, if I was trying to be obedient, shouldn't He be giving me a massive tailwind or something? Right?
It was downhill and easy the rest of the way, thankfully, and I arrived at my friend Ryan Likes's house around sundown.  I stayed the next several days in Denver more or less trying to figure what the heck I was there for. I felt mostly confident that I was doing the right thing in going back to Denver, but didn't have much idea as to why I was supposed to be there. Was there someone I was supposed to meet? Was there an opportunity that I was to find, an open door to, say, a job? Was there something I was to hear, to do, to learn while there? Or was it just a test in obedience? I didn't know, and even now am not sure.

I spent much of the time doing a lot of reading of the book Is That Really You, God? by Loren Cunningham, which deals a lot with discerning the will of God, and learning how to hear. It was really encouraging to read, and hear a Godly man's real testimony about being led by the Spirit, but at the same time it was deeply frustrating, because I felt like I was nowhere near that point and I ached to be there.

But, I had a great conversation with Ryan Likes as we threw a frisbee around, and we came to the conclusion that the point of this whole spiritual journey thing isn't to have it all together. The point isn't to have THE answer to life. The point is Christ. The point is to know Him, and struggling is a part of that. God isn't near as concerned or worried about what I'm going to be doing in three months as I am. He's just wants me, as He wants all of us. In other words, I need to stop worrying about whether I make the right decision or the wrong one, because that's not the point. The point is Him. At least that's where I stand at this given point in time.